


Mission

by Turtle_Goose



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-19 00:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1448395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turtle_Goose/pseuds/Turtle_Goose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All he wants and needs is a mission.  The one he gets is the hardest of all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mission

**Mission**

* * *

 

_Give me a mission._

He asks every day.

Asks the man with the blue eyes and the smile that melts into something distinctly _home_. Asks the woman with the red hair and the cool demeanor who fights like he doesn't remember teaching someone before. (Doesn't, doesn't, _doesn't_ remember.)

Each day brings a mission.

 _Give me a mission._ -Brush your teeth.

 _Give me a mission._   -Watch this tv show with us.

 _Give me a mission._  -Get some sleep.

 _Give me a mission._   -Have a banana.   These aren't the missions he knows. He's a soldier, he follows orders. If A, then B.

 _Give me a mission._   ...

 _Give me a mission._   ...

 _Give me a mission._   -What do you want to do?

He wants to receive and carry out his mission.

 _Give me a mission._   -What do you feel like doing?

He feels like carrying out a mission.

 _Give me a mission._  -What _don't_ you want to do? He doesn't know. Doesn't know doesn't know doesn't know.

 _Give me a mission._ (It's a sob and he braces for the pain that never comes.)  -Think about what you want to do tomorrow. That's your mission.

He nods and returns to his room (he's a soldier and he doesn't retreat, not ever, but returning is okay - returning was an order, after all).

He spends half the night doing push-ups and the other half sleeping.  He's supposed to get some sleep, that's part of a mission.

He eats his breakfast - always with a banana - and then brushes his teeth. All part of the mission.

The show is on and it’s part of the mission. He doesn't understand it, but he hears the laughter (always the same laughter) so he keeps watching it because he almost remembers laughter and the other two smile when he watches.

He remembers (is it remembering?) flashes of a time that seems black and white (then comes the red all over - so much red dripping from and into the star on his arm) of laughing with the man - Steve. His name is Steve and he is Bucky. Or is he Bucky? It's all so hazy. But they laughed together, right? The place with the dark lighting and the heroic story told him so. He saw it, didn't he? Or was that a lie?

 _Give me a mission._   -You have a mission.

 _I don’t know how to do that._   -That’s okay, we’ll help you figure it out.

 _Why?_  -Because it’s our mission, too.

 _Give me a mission._  -Let us help you.

 _Give me a mission._  

Hours, days, weeks, months…

-You didn’t ask for one today.   _I don’t want one._

He smiles, amazed, scared, elated. He doesn’t want a mission, doesn’t need a mission. He has a purpose outside of a mission. He’s Bucky and he’s with Steve, and Natasha, and didn’t they say Sam would be stopping by too?

He’s Bucky.

-Do you want a mission? _Are you going to take that dumb helmet off first?_ (It's been so long since since the teasing and it's new and old and exciting at the same time.)

-For you, Bucky, I'll do anything. _Let me help you with the mission._

That was his mission - more like a calling - above all else: Help Steve.

He's Bucky, and Steve is Steve, and Natasha and Sam are Natasha and Sam. He wants to help them.

It's not his mission, he realizes - it's his choice.

-It's your choice. _Yes, it is._

_End_

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little ficlet to help me with my Bucky feelings, because I have them by the fuckload.


End file.
